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Catatonic State


I could hear people talking, but I could not open my eyes. I could not move, I could not speak, I could not squint, I could not do anything. My body was dead, but my brain was active (well some of the time). It was like every single ounce of energy I had was drained to the point I could not do any of the above. The exhaustion was unreal, I would doze off and have wild dreams. I was flying with Jesus on some bald Eagles (imagine “how to train your dragon, but in this case Eagles and Myself and Hazel Eyed Jesus)..

Although reports are now slowly coming in (and of course there is some controversy), they are calling it a “Catatonic State for 24 hours.” Functional inability to wake up post surgery. Stroke alert , ct neg, EEG seizure neg, labs negative, … so there was hope. Patient out of OR at 9:30, stroke alert 10:45 am. Not responding not even to pain (literally from what I heard they tortured me - out of love- to get me to wake up and I have the bruises and marks to prove it!).

Finally 4:30pm, Narcan administered, then again 4:45 pm. 5:13 pm patient pops up with chest pain.. Collapses back down and out again. Starts some communication a bit but then out for the night and most of the next day.

I read this a few days late but was pretty taken back given it was the next day after the surgery's reading...

No more YOU CAN I remember muttering at that one point.. (I thought the Narcan was “you can”? I don’t know.. I think I was thinking “you can do it!” But what I did know is that it felt like it gave me a heart attack and I had tachycardia until I passed out again).

“Catatonia is a disorder that disrupts a person’s awareness of the world around them.An unresponsive patient in the postoperative period is a serious complication that can be caused by anesthetics. Unresponsiveness in a patient in the immediate postoperative period can be a life-threatening condition that must be urgently addressed. Anesthetic-related causes (eg, residual anesthetics, opioid overdose, and residual neuromuscular blockade) are the most common causes and should be considered first, while maintaining airway patency, breathing, and circulation.”


Naloxone is a prescription medicine that blocks the effects of opioids. It is used to treat opioid overdose by temporarily reversing the effects of opioid medicines and drugs. This helps a person to breathe again and wake up from an overdose.

The use of Narcan in these cases to reverse the effects of opioids after surgery can cause serious heart problems, including: low or high blood pressure. abnormal heart rhythm. cardiac arrest (a sudden stopping of your heartbeat)

Super swollen belly.. and everything else!

When I did finally “wake up” or get up physically, I was SO SWOLLEN. I couldn’t even close my hands, I could hardly see out of my eyes, and my stomach area was absurd! ..and still kind of is. Fast forward to now, a few days later and some of the swelling has gone and things are progressing in the right direction, I THINK.

As far as my tailbone goes, hey, that area is doing pretty well. I have managed a bit of low level elliptical, walking, and don’t trust any meds but am doing fine with tylenol! So as I navigate my way through yet another challenge, I do have to reflect on some things and encourage others.

Live your life with a higher vision. If you are putting trash in (that goes for everything, physical/mental/emotional- telling yourself “you are not… “x” ), surrounding yourself with trash ( toxic people, toxic media, toxic workplace), you will get trash out.

You will not be that light God created you to be. And we all were made to shine. So don’t wait for instances like this to change your ways, do it now. Make the changes now. We are not promised tomorrow. We are not promised next year. We are not promised that we will rise up out of bed, yet we should ask ourselves, if we didn’t rise up out of bed tomorrow, would we be happy with how we lived our lives? Would we have regrets? Would we blush and be ashamed of how we used or didn’t use our gifts and talents. Would we honestly say, I at least tried. BABY STEPS! Baby steps will get you over the mountains too and most of the time, more efficiently than giant steps. Progress not perfection.

Do not underestimate the value of 1 minute. 1 minute, of “something in the right direction” is a baby step to success with something else or avoidance of negative circumstances (Think of using that 1 minute to lay out your clothes for the morning, floss your teeth so you don’t encounter cavities, read a bible verse to go into the day with armor, do a plank.. I mean seriously can you imagine if you did a plank daily how much stronger your core or even pelvic floor would be?!) .. So take ONE STEP, one baby step, in order to take advantage of an opportunity to BETTER yourself for not only yourself but for others. I say this now, post surgery (because like others who have had near death experiences we are grateful for what we have when we do wake up!), but it really hit me awhile back when I created SheRUGGED. Join us, join a bible group, join a positive fitness place, join Rugged Running, join a crafting circle, create your own!!! Take that baby step!

I can recall telling Jesus as we were flying on Eagles (yeah I realize I sound like a crazy lady here!) that I had too much work to do for him on earth still and that I couldn’t keep flying with him. So perhaps he woke me up to tell you, yes you whoever is reading this that one thing, take a baby step!

“So just as an eaglet must wait on its parents, we must learn to wait patiently upon the Lord! Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

So here I go, with renewed strength to live my life with an even higher vision, higher spirit, and an even brighter light to empower others to do the same. Won’t you take that baby step now? Right now!

“With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:16–26;

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Wow, Michele! Just wow... So glad you came out of this and your message is spot on!!

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